Aaaaah, I understand. Six points:
1. Yes, RAM is faster than a SSD. But with a Vertex 2 in my McBook Pro (around 270 MB/s read/write) I dare say that I'm not able to notice the difference within a VM except loading a prog for the second or third time, what's faster with the prog still in RAM. I esablished the RAMdisk solely because I was told it would reduce the workload on the SSD.
I also switched off the 'last access stamp' feature. You know, every time you READ a file, it's acually opened and written a time stamp to it so in file properties you can see when the file was accessed for the last time. This is an unnecessary information for most users so you can prevent Windows from doing so. There is a similiar tag in Mac OS X and you can turn that off too.
Again, this is only to reduce SSD accesses. Even on my second MacBook Pro with a regular 7200 HDD I couldn't notice any speed gains with all changes I did. So it's even more unlikely that I can feel any speed bump with a SSD.
2. As far as I know the TRIM command can't be issued to the SSD out of a VM because it's a native command that won't pass the VM's hypervisor. So even if you had Win 7 inside your VM, there would be no TRIM. I escaped this problem with the Vertex 2 SSD which features a Sandforce controller with some kind of internal TRIM.
3. I remember that calculation overhead for memory management increases drastically with bigger RAM in the VM. There are recommendations by Parallels for that (I think it's 2 GB overall RAM for XP). Maybe too much RAM causes a speed decrease.
4. I know that people tried to work with no swapfile at all when RAM got cheaper because it's so much faster then the HDDs of those days. Many problems occured since XP always swaps data even with tons of free RAM. Those mechanisms got screwed from time to time on systems withot swapfile. I think the RAMdisk is a solution to that because XP thinks it actually has a swapfile even if it's in RAM.
5. Parallels tools, the driver set inside the VM, is pretty sensible. That's not limited to Parallels. I used VMware Fusion before, and colleagues use Virtual Box, it's all the same. As a rule of thumb: After applying hardware related changes to the VM, reinstall your Parallels tools from the 'Virtual Machine' menu. One time more doesn't hurt. I you encounter any problems with the Parallels tools, deinstall them completely, restart VM and install them again. That heals most problems (not all ...

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6. RAMdisk size again: After posting in this thread yesterday, I went increasing RAM in the VM, increasing the RAMdisk to 1G with 500MB swapfile and moved all the tmp/temp/internet explorer temp etc. files to the RAMdrive. No speed bump again, but I can say in my current VM session which is running since 5 hrs, the temp folder's size is under 30 MB. The space reserved for it is up to 500 MB, and that's enough till I download a file that's bigger than 500 MB. Since all downloads are bufferd in the temp folder, I couldn't work with files bigger than the space I reserved. That's no real problem: In this rare case I would download the file in the Mac host and move it to the VM then. But if I worked with bigger files frequently, I probably would raise limits in the RAMdiske (meaning assining more RAM to the VM and increasing the RAMdisk. So your needs may be others than mine
As for the mounter - here I can't help. As I mentioned earlier, I almost isolate my VMs from the host except clipboard usage, so I never tried accessing the .hdd file from the host, sorry.
Best regards
--Chris.